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New CuriousCouture about page up

Hi All,

I just added an about page and was wondering if someone who can actually write would comment on it :)

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( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
avivasedai
Jan. 19th, 2006 12:46 pm (UTC)
}:-)
I'll give feedback later in the day - must get to work first!
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
Re: }:-)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
moonshadow
Jan. 19th, 2006 01:04 pm (UTC)
There are a few typos here. In general, the whole thing needs a lot more commas. My corrections are in bold.

"Every pattern that I draft is unique, and based on actual measurements. There is a good reason that many people can't buy corsets off</i> the rack. While a dress may be able to fit quite a few body types, a corset needs to be more exact. I take the actual shape of the body into account when creating your design. Patterns are drafted by hand using a variety of rules and curves before creating a boned mockup or toile. The mockup is used to make sure that the draft is solid and that the design works with your body. Sometimes a little more room needs to be added or some taken out; these things happen and that's why I make a mockup. The pattern is modified and if there aren't too many changes then the final garment can be constructed from there.

All of my designs are fully lined and all seams are encased; I use a variety of construction methods depending on the design. I also make my own bias binding and some trims to complete the look. Often times accessories can be made of the same fabric as well. These can include; skirts, hats, purses, etc. I can also work with my clients to find accessories that are made by others so that they have the best possible outfit.

This site and all its contents are copyrighted. Please do not copy my images and text. This is a small community and word will get back to me eventually. I'm not trying to get rich, but it is my art and I would like credit where credit is due."

I could go on if you like. :) One thing I would do, if it's me, would be to list some of the construction methods you use, and describe some of the ways that off-the-rack corsets are unlikely to fit many people.
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
supercheesegirl
Jan. 19th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC)
The editor weighs in.

1st para: one-of-a-kind, corset-based, off-the-rack

2nd para: "On one hand this would make choosing Curious Couture over another company easier; I'm cheaper than them, my pictures are better, etc. On the other hand, how can one simply compare based on a little picture and a price tag. " I would change this to something like "That sort of system might make shopping easier initially, but my methods allow me to custom-design exactly what you want so that you get the best value. I offer..."

I would also cut "or in some cases a fixed price (e.g. 2nd corset made off the same pattern)" because you say basically the same thing again in the next sentence.

3rd para: looks fine to me

4th para: You can cut out a lot of unneccessary words here. Try something like, "Every pattern that I draft is unique and based on actual measurements. I take into account the actual shape of your body when creating the design so that the corset will fit your curves exactly, unlike a corset bought off the rack. I draft my patterns by hand then create a mockup to make sure the draft is solid and the design works with your body. Making a mockup allows me to add a little more room or take some out so that the final garment will be just right."

5th para: I agree with Lady A, this would be a good place to talk about some of the construction methods you've used before if you feel that's important. "All of my designs are fully lined and all seams are encased. (Something more about your high-quality construction techniques could go here.) I also make my own bias binding and trims to complete the look, and I can make accessories like skirts, hats, and purses from the same fabric to build the best possible outfit."

Last para: copyrighted, not copywrited. I also don't like the sound of "I'm not out to get rich off of this" -- I'd keep it to just a simple "this is my art and you shouldn't steal it."

Overall, I suggest you try to keep your verbs active instead of passive--for example, "I draft patterns by hand" instead of "Patterns are drafted by hand". Passive verbs can be useful sometimes (like, if you had assistants drafting patterns for you, you might want to say "patterns are drafted"), but here you're talking about your art and you want to focus on the way *you* do it, which is different from how other people do it.

Also, I recommend being as straightforward as possible at all times in text like this. Say "for example" or some such instead of "e.g.", and actually list what you mean instead of saying "etc." You want people to really know in a concrete way what exactly you do, how you do it, and why they should pay you money to do it.

Hope this helps!
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
caliginous
Jan. 19th, 2006 06:59 pm (UTC)
This might be redundant as I can no longer see the previous comments, but here's my abbreviated take (word changes stricken through, suggestions/discussion in italics, puncuation bold):

One of the reasons that I do custom work is that there are many people out there who make wonderful off the rack designs. (I ask myself "what, and you can't compete?") There are not so many people that work with their clients to figure out a design that is flattering for their body type and makes a statement.

I'd change these two around a bit, along the lines of "While there are many wonderful off-the-rack designers, there are few people who can work with clients directly to create a design that is flattering to the client's body type and really makes a statement. This is where I/Curious Couture come(s) in."

Paragraph 3 is unnecessary here; I think you are getting too technical for a number of your clients and it interrupts the flow. I would move it toward the end, after you talk about construction, and either integrate a few sentences about your machines into that paragraph or tie the entire paragraph in with "I collect and use vintage sewing machines. A variety of machines means that your corset will be sewn with the ideal stitches, for durability and a beautiful finish."

Every pattern that I draft is unique and based on actual your measurements. There is a good reason that a lot of people say that they can't buy corsets of the rack. While a dress may be able to fit quite a few body types, a corset needs to be more exact. I take into account the actual shape of the your body when creating the design. Patterns are drafted by hand using a variety of rules and curves (people don't have a clue what this means) before creating a boned mockup or toile. The mockup is used to make sure that the draft is solid consider correct, accurate instead of solid and that the design works with your body. Sometimes a little more room needs to be added or some taken out; these things happen and that's why I make a mockup. The pattern is modified, and if there isn'taren't too many changes the final garment can be constructed. and what if there are changes? am I SOL?

All of my designs are fully lined and all seams are encased what does this mean to me?;. I use a variety of construction methods depending on the the best construction methods for your design. I (can) also make my own bias hand craft binding and some trims to complete the look perfectly finish your custom garment/corset/piece. Often times accessories can be made of the same fabric as well. These can include; skirts, hats, purses, etc. I also work with my clients to find accessories that are made by others so that they have the best possible outfit. Consider dropping this last sentence unless you are going to be clear that you will charge a finders fee-I know you know about everyone and thing off the top, but as a CYA move I'd drop it)

Basically I'd move to personalize the paragraphs, it's not a corset, the look, etc., it's their corset, their design, their measurements, etc. Also remember that most people don't have any idea what sewing terms, machines, fabric types, etc. are-they are paying you to make the decisions for them once they have decided on the design, and don't be surprised when they are more than vague about that as well.
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
caliginous
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
One of the reasons that I do custom work is that there are many people out there who make wonderful off the rack designs. While I know that I can compete with them, I would rather work with my clients to figure out a design that is flattering for their body type and makes a distinctive statement.

This still isn't sitting quite right iwth me.

One of the reasons I do only custom work is that while there are many people who make wonderful off teh rack designs, off the rack doesn't work for many people. I prefer to work with my clients individually to figure out a design that is flattering for their body type and makes a distinctive statement.

In some cases it maybe a fixed price; for more complex pieces I charge by the hour. A good example would be a second corset made off the same pattern. I have a base rate of $25/hour. This rate is flexible and if there is something that I can reuse, for example tooling or designs, then I can lower it can be negotiated depending upon design, or for garments from the same pattern. I also offer full to partial trade on professional services as long as materials are covered. (I would take out the strike thrus as they are somewhat redundant or akward)

It also means that there is are two or more layers of fabric on either side of the bone, which increases the durability of the garment.

I also make my own bias binding and trims to complete the look; and I can make accessories like such as skirts, hats, and purses from the same fabric to build you the best possible outfit. just word choice, I'd say something to the effect of 'the outfit of your dreams'
sparkymonster
Jan. 19th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
....I am have been an engineer for 15 years, and I have over 10 years of sewing experience. This unusual combination of skills and experience allows me to create unique custom designed and fitted garments. While there are manypeople out there who make wonderful off the rack designs, I work with my clients to create a design that is flattering for their body type and makes a distinctive statement.

You may be wondering why I don't have a bunch of ready made outfits with prices up on the site. It's difficult to make a purcahse based on a small picture and a price tag. You can't tell how well the garment would fit someone who isn't the model, how well it is constructed, or how well it would look with the rest of your closet. I offer a free one hour consultation to figure out the best design options based on the customer's initial ideas. Once we get an idea or direction to work in then I'll quote you based on time and materials, or in some cases a fixed price (e.g. 2nd corset made off the same pattern). I have a base rate of $25/hour. This rate is flexible and if there is something that I can reuse (e.g. tooling or designs) then I can lower it. I also offer full to partial trade on professional services, as long as the cost of materials are covered.

I collect and use antique sewing machines. I like the feel of them and I believe that they actually work better than the newer plastic machines that companies are churning out today. I have different machines for different weight fabrics. My 2 Singer 66s (one motorized and one treadle) are ideally suited for sewing with top-stitch and upholstery thread, while my Singer 15 is very good at sewing delicate fabrics or those projects that need a lot of sewing detail. For leather and vinyl projects I have a foot-treadle Singer 29-4. It can sew through pretty much anything I can fit under the foot.

Every pattern that I draft is unique and based on actual measurements. There is a good reason that a lot of people say that they don't look good in corsets, or that they can't find anything they like off the rack. While a dress may be able to fit quite a few body types, a corset needs to be more exact. I take into account the actual shape of the body when creating the design. Patterns are drafted by hand before creating a boned mockup or toile. The mockup is used to make sure that that the design works with your body. Sometimes a little more room needs to be added or some taken out; these things happen and that's why I make a mockup The pattern is modified and if there isn't too many changes the final garment can be constructed.

All of my designs are fully lined and all seams are encased. These details may not seem important, but they vastly increase the comfort and life of the garment. I use a variety of construction methods depending on the design. I also make my own bias binding and some trims to complete the look. In many cases coordinating accessories can be made of the same fabric as well. These can include; skirts, hats, purses, etc. I also work with my clients to find accessories that are made by others so that they have the best possible outfit.

This site and all its contents are copywrited. Please do not copy my images and text without permission, it is a small community and word will get back to me. I'm not out to get rich off of this but it is my art and I would like credit where credit is due.
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
surrealestate
Jan. 20th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
I had a bunch of comments and marked this to reply later, but so many comments have already been made, I figure I'll comment on the next version, if you still want feedback. :)
mrpet
Jan. 20th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
I have a new version up. Thanks for all of the help so far.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )